At the beginning stages of my quarter-life transition there was a lot of turmoil and drama happening in my life right before I decided that I had had enough of living my life according to the antiquated scripts and dictates of my family and of society in general. Looking back on the last few years I now realize that a lot of the drama and turmoil that was swirling around me at the then time was the universe’s aggressive, unrelenting way of getting my attention regardless of however long it would take. Ladies, when you have a specific calling on your life and you muck around with your opportunity to passionately live your purpose the universe has a way of turning everything upside down in your life; until you stop resisting, listen with your heart and unflinchingly stand in your truth and power. I am a Taurus, and by nature I can be quite stubborn and persistent; and not always in a good way. Many of the negative situations and choices I made for myself or found myself involved in, at that time in my life, caused me more pain and grieve then needed because I was emotionally and spiritually plugged up. I wanted to be everything to everyone, while miserably suffering inside because I mistakenly assumed that what I truly wanted for my life was too grandiose and abnormally outside the norm of what females in my family are expected to do when they reach a certain phase in life; and that was to get an advanced education (check), get married (work in progress), work a dreadful 9-5 making someone else wealthy (never again); Oh, while you’re at it find some way to pop out two or three kids (one is good enough for me) and then retire (one step at a time people).
I felt devoid of any authentic passion and purpose in my life other than being a mother to my daughter. I wanted more out of life as I am sure the majority of you reading this article want more for your own life other than the mundane routine you’ve put up with for god knows how long, right? So, the question remains, just how do you begin to transition out of your old life into the new? Well, for me I had to rebuild my inner strength from ground up before implementing strategic, actionable steps to get me from point A to point B, C, and D. It’s like relearning to walk all over again, but the only difference is you are doing so from an awakened, spiritual lens that relies more on your own lived experiences and intuitive knowing, rather than the scripts and dictates of those around you and your immediate environment. I’ve spoken about my meditation journal in another post entitled Speaking Your Truth: Standing in Your Power, where I briefly discussed the therapeutic relief journaling gifted me when I felt I had no one in my life at the then time who truly understood what I was experiencing. Sure, I had the unconditional love of my family, but to unabashedly open myself up and share with someone my deepest fears, desires and dreams for life was something I was terrified of exposing myself to, especially if those goals and dreams do not line up with what is considered to be ‘normal’ within your family; thus, you fear being looked down upon as if you are some green alien from outer space. But, back to my point about meditative journaling. You learn a lot about who you are as a person without any filters; however, more importantly you learn who you are not and who you do not want to be. As such, writing in my journal helped me to objectively revisit defining moments in my life both positive and negative, which allowed me for the first to begin to understand at a soul level how my lived experiences shaped the direction my life was heading in at the then time. It was the beginning of my transition because I know longer identified with the woman who was reflecting back at me via the pages of my journal. Your journal becomes a sort of spiritual blue print highlighting for you where your insecurities and weaknesses are, as well as your strengths and unique talent. It will also illuminate to you what you need to add to your life and the things or people (family, friends and frenemies) who need to be lovingly purged from your life in order for you to up-level and transition with passion and purpose.
Meditation, prayer and journaling consistently (still need to work on this) has helped me to realign with my authentic values and purpose for my life; for you it might be long walks immersed in nature’s mysterious beauty, one of my favorite pass times, or perhaps reading a thought provoking book that sparks a long forgotten passion of yours, which leads you down a new and exciting path in life. The point I am trying to make is that you should make an effort to reconnect and get to know you all over again; and once you feel comfortable with who you authentically are and what makes you happy, apart from the outside noise of society, friends and your family telling you what should make you happy only then will you be able to discover your true purpose in life; and once you have discovered your purpose EXPLORE it! I realize we don’t all have the luxury of taking long stretches of time off from work to explore our true life’s purpose and passion, especially when we may have children to provide for, a spouse to build a life with and a mortgage to pay; I totally get it. But, even if it’s just for a few hours on the weekend or perhaps in the evening when you have some down time to yourself to hop online or to visit your community library and – research your passion – it will further motivate and entice you to take the next steps to acquire the necessary knowledge and skill set needed to transition. Overtime, that thing we call purpose will become part of who you are; until it no longer satisfies you to just be passionate about it; rather, you will want to become it.
If you are a woman who is currently experiencing profound transitions within her own life, I invite you reach out to me through our Lifestyle Clarity Application to further discuss how I can assist and support you in achieving what appears to be the impossible within your own life’s journey.
Melissa .T. Jarred is a certified Toronto Image Consultant and Personal Stylist who works with women expeiencing life transitions who feel deep within their soul that it is time to not only up-level and overhaul their entire life, but to also revamp their image and personal style to authentically align and reflect with the new changes that are emerging in your life.